got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
