Can i not drive my cunt home
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
