I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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