So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
