Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
