4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
