Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
