Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
