Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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