I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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