Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
