i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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