so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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