What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
