Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
