Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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