I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
