I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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