Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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