remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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