remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
