Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Enjoy the penises
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
