apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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