i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
