At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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