IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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