i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
