I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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