OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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