dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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