His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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