So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
