airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
