if i can run in heels then i can drive
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
