wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Randomize
