So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
