I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Randomize
