evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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