so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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