physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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