and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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