glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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