Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
