How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
