I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
