I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
