do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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