this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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