How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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