i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
