The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
