So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
