You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
