Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
