You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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