when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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