drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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