She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
pop tarts are not kleenex
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
