um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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