If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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