Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
