At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
