Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
