You really coming over, don't trick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
