Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
