I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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