I looked at my own cervix.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
