i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
