My friends, they love my intelligence
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
