can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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