If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
